I realised a rather harsh truth today. I don’t really have friends. I mean, I do have two best friends but they’re both in different countries. We get to see each other like once or twice a year. Their names are Mane and Marge. We video call or chat sometimes but, and this is another realisation, both of them are taken, as in I’m competing with their significant others for their attention. I also have two people on my Skype, other than my family. They’re Kim and Laura. They’re people I met from ChristianChat. But they’re also far, far away. So, no I don’t really have a friend that I can go out or hang out with everyday, like go shopping or have a pedicure with.
Growing up, I was taught to never trust other people. My family also moved from place to place so my friendships were never permanent. My parents also taught me to be pessimistic about friendships and people in general.
However, I am finding, more and more, the importance of relationships. People, in spite of their complexity and quirkiness, are God’s creations. They are objects of God’s love. And, knowing more of Jesus opens up my heart to love and be loved.
I want friends but I know I’m not gonna be here in Singapore for long so I don’t want to make the investment if I know the friendship won’t last long. I’m painfully aware of how distance can tear a relationship apart.
I’m glad that Mane and Marge are both keeping contact with me, even with their busy lives. I’m also glad that I’m not terribly lonely because I have my family who I video call with everyday.
I just really wish someone could go with me to the nail salon.